pick a star on the dark horizon

i floated through the sun and shadows of glass when you called my name, unsure whether it was me, the question mark evident.
you leaned against the pillar, all china skin and beauty spot and height, elegant like a modern David.
deer caught in headlights, you took me by surprise, pinned down under the weight of your brown eyes. it was all i could do to stutter out 'hi' before you hugged me, brought me close to your chest. that scent filtered into my brain to crystallise and burn at the synapse. that scent that was like body heat and angels wings and foreign tongue all mixed together in the square inch where my nose was pressed.
then you let go and we talked, caught up in news and flirted with the idea of going out. but that idea stayed silent, best not to scare this fawn off...
i was faintly aware of my hair and my smudged eyeliner but it was muted, the volume of insecurity turned down. none of the feminine guilt and adolescent nature you'd come to expect from me. we just talked.
then the bus pulled up beside us and you suggested that i should leave. a teasing nudge, flippant and casual. and i obliged because what else could i do? you had to leave and those words we shared are as fragile as porcelain dolls, easily shattered upon the linoleum floor. no use to tie us together, wrap around us, to nurture.
after i left i smiled, involuntary muscles contracting to pull half my mouth up - some secret smile i kept hidden from you. the ache and long of leaving you pulled from every limb, drawn out notes from a melancholy violin.
but the sun shone, as the sun will do all my lifetime and yours and everyone else's. clouds hung around, too lazy to move and with no wind to motivate them. life carried on, no different save for this new ball of energy i'd locked up in my chest, shining this burning light throughout every cell. this pendent, a totem of love, you incarnate in my very own sun.