i believe

i have been in love twice
which is significantly more than most people my age.
but one was the fleeting magical love that you know is pointless longing after and merely indulge yourself in when you're hungry.
and the other...oh the other.
they come back with that stupid masculine insight that they have no idea how to use and they pick up the phone and drag you, kicking and screaming, back into their world.
the bastards.
so i'm going to wrap the scarf you advised me to buy around my head, wrap it tight so it blocks out my eyes and ears and senses.
and lie down and stop breathing for a winter or so.
and wait for my ribs to cement and my lungs to seize up
and atrophy to set in whilst i wait for it to stop.

oh well.


jimmy pop is a guilty pleasure
probably because he's so filthy

home early

this weekend was the heaviest in a long time.
i heard some kids today, about 15, talking about trying to get into pure this weekend.
made me feel old cause now i'd much rather stay at Lily's and watch Withnail with a bottle of red wine.
nostalgic and all.
and everyone's excited cause they're getting 18 and can now actually go out and it's just old now.
it's boring: you go out, spend lots of money, go home and sleep.
instead we talk and discover each other and it's much better.

i've missed camilla this week, i haven't seen her since she decided to start going to class.
i need some cigs

it's 4:30 am

didn't wake up til 3 yesterday afternoon so now's not the time for sleeping.
it's kind of chilled with old American bands i'd forgotten about and the Cracked archives.
i wish camilla was online just because everyone else who is is in another country.

apparently the 'Got Milk?' campaign with the Olsen twins was totally inappropriate because at the time Mary-Kate was anorexic.
remember when the Olsen twins were cute? the 90s were a good time, no doubt.

today

i have got the flu and it's pretty bad.
it would be okay but the TV is broke cause the wind blew the aerial off the roof so we just about get BBC 1 + 2 and all they have on during the day is Flog It! and Escape To The Country and other shows for middle class housewives.
and facebook is messing up and pathetically that bothers me because i can't get on Sorority Life.
and i kind of miss school, it's something to do. and Gaff's because they have coke in glass bottles and Jones Soda and Special K bars.

on a plus side i managed to say 'pi ka' before sneezing today.


also, cooking something in a wok doesn't make it chinese food.
especially if it's an omelette.