social situations

social conventions when someone shouts your name and hugs you and you can't remember who they are?
last night was good, minus the near arrest
though trof is far too overpriced for mixers

it's odd what a difference glasses and hair make to a person.
but it was good to get out with the old crowd and be fairly sober and hug and have fun.
instead of sat in the same place with people i don't really like for hours just drinking.

the

most perfect song.
yeah i could be alright and go on with life like before
but i'm not
so i sit around and drink kenco coffee and stare at the wall and exercise, occasionally
then go out and find someone else who's not you.
because anyone else will do.
but, noone else will do.
because noone else is you.

r e v e n g e

would be quite easy.
send her the emails.
tell her about the brown quilt.
tell her it was more than a kiss.

so why don't i?
because then he'd be upset.
and i still care.
goddamn conscience

the truth is you'll be okay anyway

what i have consumed today:
not a lot

what i consumed yesterday:
less

and the day before...?

i see a pattern emerging.
my new christmas coat fits at last.
it's the one good thing he did for me, getting me to fit that fucking coat.
and it's a nice topshop coat so it's almost, almost worth the heartache.
'bite me'.
the two words that made this a little bit easier. because he has something to go back to, someone to go back to. and he's not screaming silently to himself because the second girl to ever make him cry left him for their ex.







camilla is sad
i know this because i check her blog every day.
camilla, don't be sad because you are lovely and i love you.

whose idea was it to make Grave Of The Fireflies and My Neighbour Totoro into a double feature?
What the hell Miyazaki?

i'm actually going out tonight for the first time in ages, free drinks and all.






they just found Totoro's tree, now I know why they paired those films.

remember that time

can i get another dose of euphoria?
because for a short while i felt so happy
and another line solved the down after.
but now i have a headache and threw up and it's cold
and the low is back again.
oh well, another bag tomorrow

freestyle

i have a lot of room in my heart for love and consequently a lot of room for hurt

fuck

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
my chest hurts real bad right now and i was having an incredible night until i saw that but ive got alcohol and tissues and a bad cold and now i can cry in peace cause now he wont try and ow fuck this hurts